Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Plan

I am thinking that running out of town would be the best. Jakarta might be good. I know some friends there who want to help me. I can stay in one of their houses for a while before I find my own place. Or I can always stay in a hotel for a couple of days. I know a couple of affordable nice hotels. I also know some places where I can apply for work. I think I need to work if I want to live on my own.

But how do I explain myself to my friends? I cannot think of a scenario where I do not honestly tell them that I leave my hometown because I cannot live with him anymore. I have to be honest. They will understand. They've seen my eye covered in bruises when I went to that party last year in Jakarta.

No no no. Running to a town where I meet my friends will make it easy for him to be able to track me down. I might get caught fast.

Difficult.

Another option is to run away to my family's house in the same town. I can beg them to keep my hideout a secret. And even when he finds out, my family will protect me. But I actually do not want my family to know. I just want to run far, far away where no one knows me. Maybe I should drive my car to a small town nearby. I'll research tomorrow. The small town will be a new page of my life.

That sounds great.

Another problem is what I will bring with me. The car is important. I'll make spare keys tomorrow, secretly. And my ATM. Fortunately I have saved a lot of money in my own bank account. That should cover my life for a couple of months. I'll live frugally. And clothes. I'll pack a few important clothes and keep the bag behind the cupboard, where I can take it anytime I need it.

Words from him I can stand. I no longer listen to all his insults, although I cannot stop wondering what I've done to deserve such harsh words. They say that it's funny how people hurt their closest people. Such is not my case. We are not close. I do not know him anymore. Words I can ignore, but those slaps, hits, blows cannot be ignored. The sting stays for days.

So the next time he punches me, I know what to do. I'll pretend to hide in the shower room like usual, but when he leaves home, I'll grab my things and run away.

Freedom.

Shoot. What about my daughter?

I can come get her some time later. No problem. The most important thing is saving my life first. My soul. My laughter.

I'll definitely do this plan. I've been polishing this plan for so many years. Each year I become more confident. Each year my plan becomes better. But maybe not this year. I have to gather my courage, don't I?

Maybe next year. Sixty two years old is not too old to start a new life, right?

Or maybe some next years. I still need to work on my plan. It still needs more details. Yeah, maybe some next years. Maybe. 

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The acne prone wife is trying fiction thanks to Pauline writing about that some happy old wife :D So what do you think? If I ever work on this draft again, I think I'll put in lots and lots of minor details to make the plan looks more vivid. Anyway, enough trying fiction for now.. Very tiring.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Automatic Recycle Bin

I fancy that there is a certain part in our brain that functions as an automatic recycle bin. Basically that part helps us to forget. I imagine that if we remember everything we touch, feel, see, hear, we would be so overwhelmed that we'd go crazy.

I even have this plot idea in my head for a fiction of a man who gets hit on his head and damages that automatic recycle bin. He remembers everything and soon become very brilliant and famous, but later goes lunatic. And everyone else thanks God that human can forget.

Bad plot. I know.

A film with a nobody-else-will-think-of-it plot about forgetting is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I highly recommend watching it if you haven't watched it again and again, and cried everytime watching it (hey, that's me).

Anyway, back to real life, I believe that the automatic recycle bin in my head has gone out of control lately. One afternoon I got a phone call from a bank customer service who explained that I left some hundred dollar bills at the teller X_X. Apparently, I left them at the morning when I wanted to open a new bank account but decided to postpone it because my lunch break was over. I was pretty embarassed when I went back to the bank to collect the money, but very grateful that the bank people were so honest.

A couple of days later, I went to same bank to ask for a new online banking token (yeah, I could not locate where I put mine thanks to my automatic recycle bin). It was quick and easy, thank you. But when I went back to work, I realized that I did not have my bag with me! Before panic attacked, I calmed myself down with the thought that the bag must be in my car. And so I checked the parking lot just to find that the bag was not there.

OMG.

Driving back to the bank and praying hard that the Lord would keep my bag safe (this is a possibly wrong prayer that needs another post of theological debate), I just could not understand how my mind worked. How could I leave the bank without my bag? How could I not realize?

Long story short, I got my bag back. The bank people, once again, were so honest and they kept my bag safe and sound. I wonder if they remembered me, though, as the girl who left this and that at their bank. If I leave another important thing there on my next visit, I'd be notorious.

Anyone has any tips to help me organize my memories better? Any thoughts are welcome. FYI, I use notebook agenda, mobile phone calendar, and outlook calendar. They help me manage my time and work. But they do not warn me when I leave my stuffs some place.


I need this perhaps.
Picture is from http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-forget-things

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Promising a Reward for Myself

So I got myself some beauty supplements from my last trip to Kuala Lumpur a couple of months ago. I meant to sell them back in Indonesia to get some profit :D

Anyway, reading the brochures and actually having the supplements in my hands lured me to have them for myself. The thought of clear skin for an acne-prone wife is just too tempting, isn't it?


If you have these problems, this beauty supplement is for you.
Good job, tempting brochure!


But I made it hard for myself. The supplements shall be a reward for me if I can finally realize my healthy diet resolution for a week:
  1. Freshly squeezed lemon added to warm water each morning
  2. Only fruit and/or milk until 10 am
  3. Strictly no krupuk (trying to avoid MSG here)
  4. Sambel should be only once a day 
I got the idea of lemon juice and fruits for breakfast from Food Combining diet. Go google. The whole idea is very appealing, but I just cannot go beyond the breakfast. The menu for lunch and dinner are too frightening.

I started doing the resolution yesterday. So if I managed doing it for a week, you'll see me blogging about the beauty supplement next week ;)

Notes:
  • Lemon juice, although very sour, is not acidic, strangely. It actually helps soothe my gastric acid.
  • A glass of milk and an apple for breakfast is just not enough. It is now 10 am and I am as hungry as a bear. Prepare lots of fruit if you want to try only fruits for breakfast.