How Is Motherhood?

When my son was 2 weeks old, a friend asked me: "How is motherhood?" I told her a very short answer: "It was crazy," but I think the answer is not that simple; it needs a whole blog post to answer.

I am new to motherhood. Of course. As I'm writing this, my experience of motherhood is merely 16 days. But, oh man, I didn't sign up for this. Well, I did pray and beg for the Lord to give me a child, and He has been good. However, *sigh* the constant need of this one tiny creature baffles me. His life relies on me breastfeeding him, and he doesn't care if it's day or night. He just keeps asking for more milk.



Every time I look at him, I am frightened. I literally shudder with fright. My friends and family said that things will get better. But I cannot see the light at the end of this tunnel. I'm just trying to pass each day and night, but really, there is no passing each day. I realize that by the time morning hits, the same scenario is played all over again. I am exhausted and terrified.

Right now I'm just clinging onto the hope that what people say is true, that things will get better, although I don't have the slightest idea how this can change.

Motherhood knows no day off. God help me.

Written at January 10, 2015
#latepost #throwback

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Today the universe conspires to teach me how to forgive

Image
Just kidding. I'm not converting to cosmic humanism. It is just God who conspires to make all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Yesterday evening I discussed about forgiveness with my husband. Forgiveness is not easy, everyone who holds a grudge against someone knows this. But I find it particularly hard because I do not know how to do it. I mean, I've read and heard the theories of forgiveness. I know that if you do not want to forgive, you actually make yourself bitter. I like this one forgiveness quote in particular, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Powerful, right? Today Facebook (and Ega) even reminded me about forgiveness, from 10 years ago. This is starting to be freakish. Yesterday I contemplated about forgiveness, and now today this. Okay, I know why forgiving someone is important, along with all the benefits. But the problem i
Read more

Hydration Obsession: The 7 Skin Method

Image
I am not into Korean drama. I am not into Korean music. I am not into Korean food. I just don't understand what the hype is all about. But I have to admit that I am into Korean skincare. I am always a fan of Japanese skincare. I just think that they suit my skin better than Western skincare. But, oh boy, Japanese stuffs can be so expensive sometimes. So when Korean skincare started to hit the worldwide market, and after I've tried a couple of them, I jumped into the bandwagon. I'm sold. My skincare arsenal does not consist of all Korean, though. There are still some Japanese and Western stuffs that I use. Anyway, two of my most favorite things in Korean skincare are First Essence (or sometimes called as First Serum) and Hydrating Toner. I find them most comfortable to use on my combination skin because they are hydrating, but only lightly so my skin does not feel tacky or oily. But they are not hydrating enough so I have to follow up with serum and emulsion, and cream a
Read more

Saya Ingat Dulu Saya Menulis

Image
Saya ingat dulu saya menulis. Di blog milik friendster. Yang sekarang sudah lenyap. Saya dulu menulis apa saja yang terlintas di pikiran. Saya ingat dulu tulisan-tulisan random tidak jelas agak ababil itu sampai menarik minat seorang teman baru. Yang mulai sering mengajak chatting. Di Yahoo Messenger. Yang sekarang hampir lenyap. Teman baru dari dunia yang sangat berbeda yang tidak akan saya kenal jika saya tidak menulis. Waktu itu saya heran sekaligus senang karena ada yang suka pada tulisan saya. Meskipun cuma seorang dia. Mungkin kami akan terus berteman, jika dia tidak meninggal duluan. I didn't know about this. Can I go back to 2011? Saya ingat dulu saya menulis bersama teman-teman. Di blog imo milik Jakarta Post. Yang sekarang sudah lenyap. Judul blog kami Antara Molen, Pentol, dan Batagor. Isinya tidak jelas. Tapi kami senang. Isinya cuma sedikit. Bisa dihitung jari. Tapi ada perasaan lega. Saya ingat dulu saya menulis. Untuk majalah gereja. Banyak kenangan di sana.
Read more