Today the universe conspires to teach me how to forgive

Just kidding. I'm not converting to cosmic humanism.

It is just God who conspires to make all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Yesterday evening I discussed about forgiveness with my husband. Forgiveness is not easy, everyone who holds a grudge against someone knows this. But I find it particularly hard because I do not know how to do it.

I mean, I've read and heard the theories of forgiveness. I know that if you do not want to forgive, you actually make yourself bitter. I like this one forgiveness quote in particular, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Powerful, right?

Today Facebook (and Ega) even reminded me about forgiveness, from 10 years ago.

Okay, I know why forgiving someone is important, along with all the benefits. But the problem is, why don't they tell you HOW TO DO IT?

I simply do not know how to forgive. Saying, "I forgive you&q…

He's Got the Whole World (and My World) In His Hand

Inspired by In Touch Ministries' Daily Devotion that came into my email this morning (and also inspired by the problems that have been revolving around my life lately :p), I thought I'll write this as a reminder for myself, and for others, too.

Daniel 2:20-22 (NASB)
“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
“It is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men
And knowledge to men of understanding.
“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness,
And the light dwells with Him. With ongoing world events, the future of this world appears to be in the hands of nations' rulers and government. But notice that the Lord is the one who “removes kings and establishes kings” (Dan. 2:21). So every leader is put into office not by the people, not by their power, not by their wicked schemes, but by the hand of God.

But how about the wicked lea…

I am not happy

I am not happy.

I wish I could say "just kidding" after I said I am not happy. But it's true I am not happy. Not all the time at least. I am happy when my son, Raven, is being sweet and showing off his good sides. But when he is being a threenager, I get upset and not happy. I am happy when my husband is all nice and loving, but when he snaps at me just a little bit, I feel unloved and not happy. I am happy when things go my way, but when challenges and troubles come, I panic and become not happy.

Sometimes I even turn unhappy when I see other people's social media feed. Why do they look so happy? Why is it not me? Even though I know the fact that social media feed is carefully selected by their owners to show what they want to the world to see, I still fall into the trap. *sigh*

So, this Good Friday morning, I remember the word joy and look up real quick in the google: happiness versus joy.

I do not immediately believe what that website says (because it says psychol…

An unexpectedly expected blessing

This is unexpectedly expected.

After I had my first baby at the end of 2014, I haven't used any birth control methods. The reason is because I have a PCO syndrome, so we chose to let chances of pregnancy open because it is not easy for me to get pregnant.

One evening of early July 2017 out of nowhere my husband asked me to do a pregnancy test. I was too comfortable at the thought that a second pregnancy is a fairy tale for me, so I was like, "What?" but I did it anyway the next morning. And those two stripes of red appeared.

Oh, wow.

Thank you, God.

I am now 8 week pregnant and boy, I did not remember having this morning all day (mild) sickness when I had my first child (but then again, my memory is not really reliable). My doctor was delighted when I complained to him. Nausea shows a good pregnancy, that's his motto. I'm trying not to complain a lot, anywho, because pregnancy is a blessings, isn't it :)

Well, now this is a chance to do some things that I wis…

Hydration Obsession: The 7 Skin Method

I am not into Korean drama. I am not into Korean music. I am not into Korean food. I just don't understand what the hype is all about. But I have to admit that I am into Korean skincare.

I am always a fan of Japanese skincare. I just think that they suit my skin better than Western skincare. But, oh boy, Japanese stuffs can be so expensive sometimes. So when Korean skincare started to hit the worldwide market, and after I've tried a couple of them, I jumped into the bandwagon. I'm sold. My skincare arsenal does not consist of all Korean, though. There are still some Japanese and Western stuffs that I use.

Anyway, two of my most favorite things in Korean skincare are First Essence (or sometimes called as First Serum) and Hydrating Toner. I find them most comfortable to use on my combination skin because they are hydrating, but only lightly so my skin does not feel tacky or oily. But they are not hydrating enough so I have to follow up with serum and emulsion, and cream at n…

Big Dogs Don't Bark

I've been on a translation project these couple of months. The book that I'm translating is a guide book to teach characters for at-risk teenagers. It was an interesting book, full of life skills that even adults need.

A couple of chapters talk about anger management issues, and I felt like the book is speaking a lot of truths about anger. Some of them are:
Anger often is an expression that hides other strong emotion, such as fear, shame, embarrassment, or frustration. We use anger to protect ourselves from pain or humiliation. Unfortunately, often that results in causing pain and humiliating the people closest to us.Being around angry people is difficult. And it causes us to be angry people, too.  Oh, the book lists some things to do when you're around an angry person, such as keep treating him/her with kindness, be patient, giving soft answers, accepting that you cannot control the person's anger. I think only saints can do these things. LOL.
And there are some choice…

Saya Ingat Dulu Saya Menulis

Saya ingat dulu saya menulis. Di blog milik friendster. Yang sekarang sudah lenyap. Saya dulu menulis apa saja yang terlintas di pikiran. Saya ingat dulu tulisan-tulisan random tidak jelas agak ababil itu sampai menarik minat seorang teman baru. Yang mulai sering mengajak chatting. Di Yahoo Messenger. Yang sekarang hampir lenyap. Teman baru dari dunia yang sangat berbeda yang tidak akan saya kenal jika saya tidak menulis. Waktu itu saya heran sekaligus senang karena ada yang suka pada tulisan saya. Meskipun cuma seorang dia. Mungkin kami akan terus berteman, jika dia tidak meninggal duluan.

Saya ingat dulu saya menulis bersama teman-teman. Di blog imo milik Jakarta Post. Yang sekarang sudah lenyap. Judul blog kami Antara Molen, Pentol, dan Batagor. Isinya tidak jelas. Tapi kami senang. Isinya cuma sedikit. Bisa dihitung jari. Tapi ada perasaan lega.

Saya ingat dulu saya menulis. Untuk majalah gereja. Banyak kenangan di sana. Apa yang saya tulis saya tidak ingat. Tapi menulis dalam tim…